My mental health ruins my life. And i fucking can’t stand it. I can get in such a “high” my manic state, where i will do a bunch of drastic things like breaking up with the boy im in love with… Having sex with his best friend… Doing a bunch of shit that i know would hurt me and the people i love but while im in that high feeling i dont think there’s anything wrong with what im doing and im having so much fun until i hit my lows and i feel the pain of what ive done and it hits me like a truck. I wish my fucking meds controlled my impulsive actions and screwed my head on right.

floozys:

have u ever met someone so terrible that it makes u a better person like u learn from mistakes that you haven’t even made purely from observing them, thank you for being so obnoxiously terrible, please don’t ever interact with me again

To be completely honest…the only reason I havnt killed myself yet is because my duty here on earth has not been finished. God wanted me to be a mother. I believe thats what I’m here for. That some day im supposed to be the mother of a child. That I believe, is my purpose in this life. Lately with how shitty my life has been going I don’t know if I’ll make it to complete my purpose for being here. I want to die. I write that with total seriousness. I’m not sure if im going to yet. Then my life would have actually meant nothing for not completing what i was sent here to do. I’ll think about it.